i love bananas. i try to eat one for breakfast just about every day!
if you’ve known me for a long time, you’ll know that this is a minor miracle- i ate a banana for the first time in 18 years last february. 18 years people!! in case you’re not a math major, let me clarify that for you: when i was 8 we played a game at awana where you had to eat a whole banana, then run around the circle and get the pin to win first place. the good news: i won. the bad news: i lost the banana soon afterwards. it was not a pleasant experience, and i avoided bananas like the plague for many many years.
ok, back to the present. yesterday i took my banana into the main office for my morning constitution (aka girl chat) with marsqueako. there were the usual crowd of students studying for tests and just hanging out, and we were all laughing and enjoying ourselves. i grabbed the stem of the banana to open it and peel down the skin …. and no juice. i tried again, pulling from a different angle. still nothing. so i did what any frustrated, independent girl would do- i grabbed the banana at both ends and just pulled. much to my surprise, i ripped the banana in half. so not only is this really funny already, but i startled myself! squeaks starts giggling uncontrollably, and by this point i know its all over. i start laughing, and try to walk …. i made it about three steps before i collapsed on the floor by squeaks’ desk and lost it. like full on-can’t breathe-face is purple-people are stopping to look-i’m horribly embarrassed kind of lost it.
welcome to my life.
today squeaks was telling the story to another one of our co-workers (tara) and we were all laughing about it again …. when tara says “you know you’re supposed to open the banana from the bottom right? cause that’s how the monkeys do it.” i must have looked at her like she had three heads, cause she got a little defensive. “well go downstairs, buy a banana and i’ll prove it to you!” my morning banana was on my desk, so i retrieved it and we prepared ourselves for this very scientific experiment. and viola! it worked! (good life skill to have!)
then tara proceeds to tell us that this [not knowing that we should open bananas from the bottom as opposed to the top] is proof that evolution is fake. “if we were from monkeys, we would have known to open a banana that way!” wow.