day 35

day 35 is almost over.  yes, you read that right … 35.  3.5.  as in thirty-five.  as in a month and five days.  as in A LONG TIME.  its been 35 days since this mouth chewed anything, and since i tasted the deliciousness that is chick-fil-a waffle fries with honey roasted bbq sauce.  (and in case its not coming through clearly, i am starting to crave food. i can’t decide if the first way i’d like to kill my colon would be a trip to osaka’s, death by chick-fil-a nuggets, a five for 5.55 binge on arby’s roast beef sandwiches, a large piece of magnolia’s turkey, asparagus and parmesan quiche, a couple of beef supreme gorditas, or the lynchburg classic: a cheesy.)

so anyway, its looking like may 18 is the big day.  as in the big day when i can start easing back into the world of real food with the best cereal of all time … that’s right- yogurt burst cheerios.

ok, enough about food … and the lack thereof.  its been an awesome 35 days.  ive learned alot about prayer, focus, and the provision of the lord, the latter being shown in some really big ways.  so here’s the main reason for this little missive: i’m not going to florida.

this was not a decision made in a day, or made lightly.  while going to florida with discover church was something that i was excited about and wanted to do, it has not been something that i am convinced that i was called to.  go … because its something awesome to do?  or go … because its what i am supposed to do?  in a question of good vs. best, i had to get to the point where i honestly evaluated the dreams that i believe the lord has given me.  and those dreams are teaching, discipling, and serving the local church.  and i’m already doing or on the way to doing those things.  and i have the opportunity to further that first one … for free.  which does mean lots more school.  (i’m a glutton for punishment … but i love it.)  so going to florida and helping to start a movement that would bring the good news of jesus christ to the people of palm beach county is a good thing.  a really good thing.  and i support the DC team wholeheartedly … i love them and will miss them so much! … but that was not the best thing for me to do.

i’d been wrestling with this for a few weeks, and everything kind of came to a head last tuesday.  i was talking with a good friend and everything just kind of came out … the doubts i’d been having, the struggle between the desire to be a part of something huge and awesome and the love i have for what i already do.  so last wednesday i went into serious ‘seek-wise-counsel mode’ and spent time sequestered with the wise voices in my life.  and they all affirmed the same things: i love certain things.  i am already doing or working on doing said things.  and while there are good things, they are the enemy of the best thing.  and the best thing is what i should be wholeheartedly chasing … it isn’t fair, and even deceitful to halfheartedly pursue the good at the expense of the best.

all that to say … i’m staying.  <insert clapping and cheering here.>

which opens up a new cornucopia of questions … school? more? where? which degree this time? and how in the blazes am i going to pay for it? and now that i’m staying, where am i going to live? and who am i going to live with?

but these questions will be answered by the same god that made it clear to me to stay.  he knows whats up, he’s got a plan, and he loves me.  holy cow.  if that doesn’t get me going, i don’t know what will.  and it does, so its all good.  he’s already working in some really big ways concerning how i’m going to keep going to school … and i’m stoked to see what’s next.  oh glorious uncertainty!

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